


teabag

by evaneddie



Series: dhylen writes one shots [62]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Sad, at least, but like, he has nothing outsidd of the fire fam, he thinks he doesn't, jealous buck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25984708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evaneddie/pseuds/evaneddie
Summary: buck is a jealous bish, but in a sad way. it's okay though, he is working on being better
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: dhylen writes one shots [62]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1433956
Comments: 5
Kudos: 141





	teabag

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written in ages due to health issues and new meds and just being a mess all around, so i hope this is okay? enjoy
> 
> prompt from buckiaz on tumblr:  
> "Talk to me, I'm worried."

"Buck, can we talk?" asks the new recruit, a finite worrisome smile dancing on their mouth. 

As much as Buck wants to say no and just walk away, he doesn't speak up, instead opting to just sit there silently on the bench in the locker room. He doesn't want to be rude, not really, because that's just not who he is. But he can't help that he comes off slightly cold towards this one person in particular. He's trying to work on it, he is. Knowing he's being this way toward someone that doesn't technically deserve it kind of rubs him the wrong way.

Subconsciously, he thinks maybe he does believe they deserve it, for some twisted reason. It isn't true, though. 

"Have I done something wrong?" Buck hears, refusing to look up from where his eyes are glued to his twiddling fingers. "If I did something to make you hate me, please tell me what it was so I can fix it. I don't want to be the new person that disrupts the dynamic of the station in a bad way."

Sighing, Buck finally whispers, "I don't hate you, Tea."

Not exactly. He just hates the fact that they seem to have everything going for them. Buck doesn't have much. Well, he has enough, he knows he shouldn't be complaining, because so many people in the world have it way worse than he does. He has a roof over his head, he has a stable income from a job he loves more than one can hope for, he has friends and family, and he's healthy. 

Friends and family. That's what has been getting to him the most lately. He can't be mad at them, can't be mad that they all have lives outside of work and he doesn't.

Hen has Karen, Denny, and baby Nia. Things have been going well for their little family, so well in fact, that they're looking at fostering another child. Her name is Bella, and she, like Christopher, has a disability that needs close attention and care. It's something Buck knows without a doubt in his mind that the two mothers will be amazing at working with.

Bobby and Athena have each other along with the kids and Michael - who also has his own life.

Chimney has Buck's sister, and their newborn baby, so neither of them have time for literally anything else other than pooped pants, hunger cries, and the beauty of bringing life into the world.

It's so selfish to be upset that nobody has time for him. He's an adult. Adults are responsible for their own actions. 

He and Eddie had been growing closer over time, and he was so sure that maybe his feelings that go beyond friendship for the man are reciprocated, and not just a one way street. They had forever had that bond, and it had only been growing stronger, making it so they, and Chris were inseparable. Almost. Until now, anyway.

Chris. He hasn't seen the kid in at least three weeks, the longest he's ever gone, and by far it is one of the top three most painful things he's ever experienced. Losing Eddie in the old well pipe was another. Three weeks since he had last heard that signature cackle of the young boy as they had a tickle fight in the living room just before pizza had arrived. Three weeks since he'd last felt the bone crushing arms of Christopher's embrace as Buck hugged him goodbye the next morning as both Buck and Eddie dropped him off at school. Three weeks since he had heard the words 'my Buck' coming from the boy.

But with Eddie? Things had been off for the last four weeks. Ever since Tea arrived and screwed everything up. 

Shit, he really has to stop blaming the new recruit for all of this. 

He can't help it though. Because the moment Tea arrived, Eddie was all over them, giving a hug and exclamations of how much they had to catch up on. Buck wasn't jealous, he honestly wasn't. He'd tried to speak to Tea, include them in conversation, but all they'd wanted to do was talk to Eddie. 

Eddie lapped that up. Like he'd been deserted in the forest with no source of running water for his whole life, and Tea was the resource he needed to finally be able to breathe and cure his dehydration.

Tea and Eddie constantly spoke of things that Buck had no idea about, and whenever he'd try to join, it felt like he was just intruding.

So, slowly, he withdrew even further. Now, he doesn't talk to any of the team unless required out on a call, or spoken to around the station. Each time he keeps it as short and to the point as he can. 

If anyone has noticed he's not been himself, they haven't bothered to say anything to him about it, only cementing the idea in his head that he is going to be alone for the foreseeable future. 

When he first noticed that he had been catching feelings for his best friend, he knew it had been going on for longer than he'd realised, and he went straight to Maddie. The first words she said to him that day were 'oh finally' and then exhaled deeply. She was five months pregnant then, and not as busy. Now, he didn't want to show up and annoy her with his dumb problems, not when she has so many other things on her plate. 

It's nothing, his problems are petty and meaningless.

"It feels like you do. Eddie told me that you're not usually like this," Tea says, taking a seat on the bench next to Buck, leaving just enough room for the two of them to not be touching. "He says you're usually energetic and upbeat."

"Well, if Eddie's so worried about me, he can talk to me himself," Buck bites back, his head snapping to look at the person next to him.

Neither of them say anything else for a moment after Buck averts his gaze again, his face heating up. 

"He's tried, but you're pushing him away. Everyone else too."

Eddie has tried talking to him about what's going on? Has he really been that consumed by his own thoughts, his own selfishness, that he hasn't noticed? 

"Look, the guy is crazy about you, and despite how much you try to hide it, you're crazy about him," says the voice, its owner sliding just a little closer, and turns around, facing Buck's side profile.

Between his molars, Buck bites hard in an attempt to hide his genuine reaction of shock, at both the idea of Eddie feeling the same way he does, and the fact that he has been something as subtle as a gun about his feeling towards Eddie. Frowning, he turns his head to look Tea in the eye.

"Don't give me that look. I'm not stupid, I can see these things. So can everyone else here."

"Shit, there goes my Oscar nomination, huh?" he jokes, trying to lighten the mood. It helps, minutely, but helps nonetheless.

"Hey, there's the Buck I've heard so much about," retorts the probie, chuckling lightly, a twinkle in their eyes.

After feeling the weight of the world slip away from its heavy place on his chest, he asks the one question that's been scratching at the back of his mind for weeks now. "So, why Tea?"

Eyes widening, the younger of the two stifles their laugh. "As a nonbinary person, there's kind of unwritten rules when it comes to choosing your name. You either go; three letters and what's considered to be unisex; a unique twist of spelling on a masculine name; or an item-slash-noun-that-isn't-normally-a-name."

"And you chose two of those?"

"Kinda," Tea replies smiling softly. "I use Tea for short, making it so that it's two, yes. But legally, I am TeaBag."

Not giving Buck a second to respond, Tea jumps up and jogs away from where Buck remains, trying to comprehend the words just said to him.

Tea isn't so bad of a person after all, just as suspected. Buck really hates his mind sometimes. It tells him all the wrong things, causing his anxious brain to come up with worst possible case scenarios.

For the first time in a while, Buck feels okay. He knows he has to talk to Eddie, and soon. But if his conversation with Tea is anything to go by, things are going to be okay.

"Talk to me," he hears later that night, at his front door, clad in only his boxer shorts. "I'm worried."

It hadn't been exactly what he imagined the start of the conversation to be like, but here they are, and now there's no going back.

"It's going to sound cliché as hell, but it's not you, Eds, it's me. It's a me problem. I was jealous, and I was hurting. I never meant for it to seem like I was pushing you away. Never."

"Buck, I miss you. Chris- god, he misses you like crazy. I just want things to go back to the way they were. I miss _us_." Eddie too is in what can be considered as sleepwear, but at least he's wearing a shirt. And why hasn't Buck told him to come inside yet?

"I don't want that," Buck whispers, his hand tight on the edge of the half open front door.

"Oh," murmurs Eddie, disappointment evident in his eyes.

"No, I mean-" Buck cuts himself off, and reaches out his free hand, travels his fingers down the very light stubble on Eddie's cheek, and drops it just as quickly, taking his hand gently. "I want more, so much more. I want to wake up, and see you next to me. I want to be able to hold your hand whenever I please."

There's so much more to say, so much. But his heart is thrumming loudly in his ears, pounding harder than ever against his ribcage, feeling as if it's about to crack open and show his every waking feeling.

"I want that too, Buck. I want to kiss you so much right now, is that bad?" Eddie's voice crack on every second syllable, his vulnerability right there in between them.

It's a rhetorical question, obviously. But Buck, being the smartass he is, responds to it. "Yeah, probably, especially considering we are in view of anyone that can walk by and see us."

A soft laugh sounds from Eddie's chest. "Evan, please just kiss me."

"Are you sure?"

"Kiss me, damnit," Eddie says, tugging on their joined hands, bringing their bodies and faces closer together.

It's a soft thing. A mere touch of Eddie's lips against his own, but hell if it isn't the softest, most intoxicating thing he's ever experienced. A small peck, turns into two, turns into something barely deeper, just tounges brushing and hands holding one another close in a sort of hug, smiles getting in the way of too much happening. It's kind of a bit of a mess, but, that's okay, because so are they.


End file.
